tear drop

Why I Cried on My Anniversary…

Let me walk you through it… It’s January 12th, 2016 at 8 am. When I wake my husband is not by my side as usual. Normally, I am the first to wake up. After that, I try to give him a few extra minutes of sleep before I wake him up with a “gentle push” and a quiet “good morning”. Well, it was not so today. When I woke up, I knew it was our anniversary and part of me was excited and the other part was ____________. I couldn’t exactly figure out the ____________ part, so I decided to go somewhere to find answers.  I went down the hallway to our prayer room, got on my knees and began to talk to God. The topic of our conversation today was “My Anniversary”.  After a few minutes, the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart. An this is the part that I wanted to share with all of the married folks, soon to be married folks and “I wanna be married folks”.

We have been taught over the years what a wedding anniversary is “supposed to look like”. In fact, we often see it portrayed in commercials, tv shows, and movies in two different lights. One way is “the husband forgets the wedding anniversary, the wife becomes upset, followed by the husband trying to make it up.” The second way is “the husband doesn’t forget the wedding anniversary and the couple celebrate in an elaborate fashion that is virtually unrealistic for most married couples.” ie. Roses everywhere, breakfast in bed, trip to the spa, dinner on the beach..need I say more (smile). These two pictures have been so impressed in our minds that it can often turn wedding anniversaries into something God did not intend. I don’t know for sure, but I believe that spouses *especially wives* can place unnecessary and unfruitful pressure on their spouse to live up to their “standards” of what an anniversary is supposed to be. If I could be a fly on the wall, I am sure many fights and broken hearts have happened on wedding anniversaries due to this. It should NOT BE SO!

As I continued to pray, God spoke into my heart that wedding anniversaries are to be a day of “Thankfulness and Remembrance”. As I received this revelation, I began to pray for my husband and thank God for Him. I just kept thanking Him for everything I could think of concerning my husband because I knew that everything good in him came from God.  As I started to thank God, tears of JOY and GRATITUDE flooded my face. And the __________ that I was experiencing went away instantly and was replaced with JOY. All of my “anniversary expectations” had been washed away by this simple revelation. In that moment, I could care less about receiving a gift, or a card from my husband. I knew that Bruce in fact was my “GOOD GIFT”. The scripture comes to mind, “Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Lights! (James 1:17)”

Well, a few seconds after I wiped my eyes. In comes Bruce…with a dozen roses, a card, and some breakfast. Even though he had all that in his hand and I knew it was for me, all I could see was him, my GOOD GIFT coming through that door! I couldn’t wait to share my heart. Then the tears began again..as I expressed my heart…We closed this moment with a special time of prayer and thankfulness to the Lord. For it was the Lord that loved us enough to bring us together.

So…Yep I cried on my anniversary!!  But these were good tears! These were my offering to God for giving me the gift of my husband.

I want to encourage everyone reading this blog, to change your perception on wedding anniversaries. Next time, it’s time to celebrate, lay aside all of those “expectations and pressures” and replace it with “Thankfulness and remembrance”. It will make your day even more special! Make your day more about God and His faithfulness in your marriage than your own needs and desires. I am sure that God would be so pleased if all the #kingdommarried couples included Him in on their special day:)

In closing, Marriage is a Beautiful thing! And of course it is fine to celebrate. Just celebrate in your own way, without the unneeded “wedding anniversary pressure” and you will be sure to have a BEAUTIFUL WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!! Remember to enjoy your “GOOD GIFT”!  I hope this helps someone..I know it helped me. I will live with this revelation for the remainder of my years:)

Love Ya’ll! ~Feel free to share and comment~


Three years down, FOREVER TO GO!


New Life In Christ

Starting My New Life In Christ (Audio Message)

A short message to encourage and empower you to start your “New Life In Christ!” Listen to this message to learn more about the best decision you have ever made in your life! Share this message with others who have questions about salvation, or desire to get off to a great start in their walk with Christ!


Be Free: Breaking Ungodly Soul Ties (Audio Message)

Are you wondering: How do I get over a bad break up? Why do I keep thinking about my past relationships? What are these thoughts of fear and shame all about? Why do I keep going back into the same relationships and patterns? Shouldn’t I be over this guy by now? But find it hard to stop thinking about him? This teaching session will help to answer all of these questions! God desires for us to be free and whole. Be sure to listen to this message and actively apply all of the principles. Once your done, share with your friends, family members and on your social media page. Let’s help others to get free! If you have any questions, feel free to text me directly at 240-339-5107. I am here to pray with you as you walk into this new season! 

Be Free,



Don’t Believe the Lie…

us pic

This blog is dedicated to all the soon to be married and newlyweds!!

From Bruce’s Perspective:

When we were preparing to get married we heard a lot of horror stories about how the first year ofis difficult. These people who meant well (I think lol) were basing their forecast for us on their own experiences. I think because everyone has different strength’s, weaknesses and circumstances, its impossible to pinpoint what the first year of marriage will be like. I will say ours was awesome!! It wasn’t full of the disagreements and all the other negative stuff we heard about. While I can’t say what another couple’s will be, I do know it doesn’t HAVE to be terrible because ours wasn’t.

From Rotoya’s Perspective:

I have learned over the years that there is Power in what you say. Honestly, at first hearing from some, that the “First year of marriage would be rough, and that everything would be soooo different” actually put a little fear in my heart. I began to wonder and create different scenarios that could make our first year of marriage rough. But then we came together and decided, that would not be our story!!! Each time those words were spoken to us we would quietly say “that will not be our story.” And guess what?!? It wasn’t our story. We had a wonderful first year and we are believing God for many more. I will encourage all soon-to-be married, newlyweds, and marriage vets to begin to speak what you desire over your marriage. The bible says that “Life and death is in the power of the tongue!” (Proverbs 18:21) You can decide how you would like your marriage to be!! Believe me it works!!

So Don’t Believe or Receive the Lie….

We love you and are praying for you!
Bruce and Rotoya~



man up

Man Up…What Does It Take To Be A Man?

As you approach your 30’s something strange happens. Distances seem further, things seem heavier and you actually have to stretch before and after athletic endeavors. In an effort to stop this evil progression I started going back to the gym. As an athlete and a martial artist I’ve spent plenty of time in the weight room as well as in the locker room.
Tonight was interesting in a span of 15 minutes I heard four distinct conversations about the same topic. Guys bragging in graphic detail about their exploits with women. High-fiving each other, laughing and exchanging stories about how they” hit it” (can’t write what they actually said) and never called back nor intend to. All 4 conversations….. same thing.
This was nothing out of the ordinary. I often wish that I could record these conversations and play them back for women who we in ministry often find ourselves helping,encouraging,and comforting after foolishness like this has happened only to see them return to these same types of guys.  As I thought about it, I realized the issue was deeper. Somehow in many minds the definition of manhood has been reduced to “conquering” women, making money etc.
Jesus Christ exemplified with perfection what it truly means to be a man. With the support of the scriptures and my humble personal opinion every real man possesses the following characteristics.
A willingness to selflessly serve others even when it hurts
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  Matthew 10:45
The courage to speak the truth even when no one else agrees
 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is,Christ. Ephesians 4:15
The ability to fight spiritually and physically to protect those whom he loves
 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 2 Corinthians 10:4
Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: Psalm 144:1
Integrity without question
 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Titus 2:7-8 ESV version 

So, what did you think? I’d love to hear your comments
time for love

Principle 1: Make Time to Spend With One Another….

Make time to spend with one another….

Three quick tips for spending quality moments with your spouse

Employer, Employee, Business Owner, Musician, Son, Brother, Minister, Friend, Collector of Fine Wool Suits, Writer, Martial Arts Instructor, Mentor, Cliff Jumper (but that was only once), Investor, 70’s aficionado, Jesus follower…I could name at least seven more but you would probably stop reading.  Our lives are busy, full of things to do, people to see and places to go. But I have learned over the past year that spending quality time together with your spouse is extremely important.  Oh yeah, I forgot a vitally important one HUSBAND (see what I mean).

I love my wife and though days are busy, I think about her all the time. Any good husband can relate. But let’s face it, we get no points unless she knows that.  Not that marriage is some sort of sporting event, but every winning relationship is characterized and strengthened by spending quality time. So gentleman, (and ladies),

Here are three quick tips for spending quality moments with your spouse, even if your super busy and told yourself you don’t have enough time.

  1. Realize that you actually do have time. Contrary to popular belief, everyone has the same amount of time in a day.  Instead of saying there is no time, create an opportunity to share even brief moments. A time of prayer, an engaging conversation, or just silence can go a long way. The point is being together and enjoying the moment.
  2. Get actively involved in your spouse’s interest. You’d be surprised what you can learn to like if you make spending time with that special person the primary reason for your engagement.  I cannot tell you the number of strange events, restaurants, and activities that I have coaxed Rotoya to accompany me to.  With a smile on her face (at times a nervous one) and love in her heart she gets involved. And before you know it, she likes it. Not only does this allow you to spend quality time, but it also brings flavor and lasting memories to your relationship.
  3. When spending quality time, never ever make the tragic mistake of doing work. Like I said, we are all busy but one of the worse things you can do is pull out work, social media or any of the sort during planned one on one moments. I think this one is self-explanatory.

Time is something that you can never get back and learning to spend it with the one you love is essential to building a great relationship. So, go find your wife or husband and spend some time with them right now. I think I’ll do the same.

Oh yeah, throwing in a tune like this in the atmosphere never hurts either. Enjoy

What do you think is the biggest obstacle to spending time with the one you love?


One of our Excursions, Rotoya initially had reservations about but in the end she enjoyed!


Dune Buggy